She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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