hell yes lets make some ravioli
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
