i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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