You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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