How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
