did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
