Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
