I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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