false alarm. still invincible.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
