Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
