I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
