discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
