Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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