i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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