im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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