saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Can I color on your dick again?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
