I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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