come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Drake has all the answers
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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