You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
