Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You ate ashes out of my bong
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
