Don't you send me to vm
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
