I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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