you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
