I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
