do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
