you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
