I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
