I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
