I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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