remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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