He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think people are normalizing furries
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
