it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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