I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
