That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
