Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so let's talk penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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