How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
