One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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