Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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