If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
