just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
