at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
