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Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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