I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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