It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
