And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
