Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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