it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
