I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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