yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
