Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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